Here Without You
by goob21
Summary: Emily can't accept that JJ is gone. Even when everone tells her to move on she will not give up on her wife. Maybe she isn't wrong. JJ/Emily character death with twist
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I needed a break from my other story I Run to You. I will still be updating that one, but I have run into some writers block with it.

A/N: This storyline has been running around in my mind for awhile so I hope you like it. Give it a chance; it may not be what you first think."

Chapter 1

The Fight

"JENNIFER," Emily yelled as she threw her bag down on the entry hall floor before slamming the front door behind her.

There was no answer, which only infuriated Emily more because she knew JJ was in the house having seen her Infiniti 350z in the garage.

"JENNIFER MARIE," she knew she really didn't need the emphasis of the middle name to show JJ how angry she was but Emily used it anyway.

No answer came.

Emily could almost feel the steam coming from her ears as she pounded up the stairs. Her wife could infuriate her like no one else on earth. As she reached the top and headed for the master bedroom where she was sure her wife would be, she thought back to the reason she was so angry in the first place.

_Flashback_

"_Has anyone seen JJ?" Emily asked walking into the bullpen._

"_I think she is still in with Hotch" Morgan said looking up from the case file he was reading._

"_Still" Emily wondered having seen JJ go into their Unit Chief's office almost an hour and a half ago._

"_Don't worry Em, he's not her type" Morgan quipped throwing his feet up on his desk._

"_Don't listen to him, pumpkin" came the cheery voice of their co-worker and friend Penelope Garcia as she slapped the back of Derek's head._

"_Ouch baby girl, I was just joking," he said rubbing his head._

"_Well you're not funny my steaming hot cup of cocoa" Garcia stated sliding onto the edge of Emily's desk and giving her a wink._

_Emily couldn't help but giggle at her two friends interacting._

_Just then Hotch's door swung open and JJ walked out with a look Emily hadn't seen on her wife's face before. _

_Garcia sent Emily a confused look as JJ stormed past the group and straight into her office without a word. Although Emily may never have seen that look on her wife's face before, she knew that when JJ's door was closed it meant no one should bother her. _

_Emily would normally giver her about an hour to cool off before waving the white flag._

_That was normally, today though Emily had a feeling something more was going on than just a heated debate between JJ and Hotch over a case._

_She knew she should probably mind her own business as she knocked on Hotch's door, but she couldn't help make sure her wife was okay. _

"_Come in Emily" Hotch called from the other side of the door._

"_Sorry Hotch," Emily felt like she was back at boarding school the time she got called to her headmaster's office for unscrewing the wheels of her chemistry teacher's chair, "I was just…well I was making," _

"_you just wanted to see why JJ was upset" Hotch finished for her._

_Wow Em, did you suddenly forget he was a profiler she thought to herself._

"_Yes, I was" she said now meeting his eyes. Hotch may be her boss but Emily knew their team was closer, they were family. She knew Hotch would understand her inquiry._

"_Emily, I can't tell you," the defeated nature in his tone was not something she had expected. Reluctancy, yes, maybe even his usual seriousness, but the defeated look in his eyes definitely not._

"_Hotch" she started but again was stopped before she could finish._

"_Emily, really I want to but I can't" the pain in his eyes told her he truly wanted nothing more than to tell her what was going on with JJ but the blonde media liaison had told him not to._

"_This just isn't about a case is it"_

_He shook his head._

_Emily's mind went into overdrive. What was this about? Was JJ being reassigned? No that's ridiculous Emily thought, JJ was the best at what she did. Maybe something had come down from Strauss? _

_Emily's rampid thoughts were interrupted by someone squeezing her shoulders. She hadn't notice Hotch cross in front of his desk to stand in front of her._

_She met his eyes. Now he was really scaring her._

"_Talk to her Emily, maybe she will listen to you," the defeated tone still heavy in his voice._

_Before she knew it she was striding through the bullpen oblivious to the looks her now worried teammates were giving her. She didn't even stop to knock before entering JJ's office. _

"_JJ" she said forcefully now standing with her hands on the front of her wife's desk._

"_Yes Emily," JJ rallied with equal forcefulness not looking up from the papers she was reading._

_Emily realized she wouldn't get anything out of JJ by pushing too hard. JJ would throw up those famous walls of her that might as well have been the Great Wall of China. _

_She ran her fingers through her hair before stepping around to knee in front of JJ. JJ let out a heavy sigh as she slumped back into her chair and turned to Emily._

"_Em, please just leave this alone" she begged_

"_JJ how am I suppose to leave something alone when I don't even know what it is"_

"_Please Emily," JJ leaned forward to take Emily's hands._

"_Just tell me baby I promise I will do anything to help," now Emily was the one begging._

"_I can't," JJ whispered_

"_YOU CAN'T," Emily couldn't hold back her anger, "JJ you are my wife! What the hell do you mean you can't?!" _

"_I don't want to talk about this EMILY," JJ stood quickly._

"_Well that's too bad JJ, because I seem to remember in our vows promising to love and trust each other forever"_

"_This has nothing to do with love Emily," JJ bit out angrily, "You know I love you!"_

"_That's NOT the part I was referring to Jennifer and you know it! You DON'T trust me!"_

"_Of course I trust you Emily, and you have to trust me enough to let me handle the things I need to" _

"_Whatever THIS is, you don't need to go through it alone. I understand you not wanting Hotch to help, but damn it Jennifer I am your wife!"_

"_Trust Emily, you want to talk about TRUST, well it seems you don't TRUST me enough to just come and ask me when you want to know what is going on. No, you run to our boss!" the deep blue of JJ's eyes shot arrows of anger at Emily. Her walls were formed and they were not about to be broken anytime soon._

"_Well I wouldn't have to if my wife would just let me in!" Emily hissed back before walking out of JJ's office knowing continuing the argument would be futile._

_She needed air now. She strode to the elevator and quickly punched the button to take her to the ground level. _

_An hour later, with at least her emotions in check, not gone but in check, she walked back into the bullpen. She gave a wary glance to JJ's closed office door._

"_Emily what are you doing here?" Reid asked sitting at his desk playing chess against himself. _

"_Reid I hate to break it to you but I work here" she stated shortly sitting down in front of the stack of files that seemed to have grown since she left._

"_oh well I just thought you left with JJ" he said simply_

"_JJ left?" she asked looking up._

"_Yeah about 45 minutes ago" Reid said confused at why Emily didn't know._

"_Really," Emily stood up and began to gather her things, "Reid could you tell Hotch I left for the day, he will understand."_

"_Yeah sure Em" he tried to tell her but she was already through the glass doors._

She stood outside the closed door of the master bedroom. She tried to gather herself before turning the handle. Anger would get her nowhere but she was having a hard time wrangling it in. Taking a deep breath she stepped into the room.

Her anger all but melted away at the sight of her wife curled in the bed hugging her knees. Although she faced the opposite wall, Emily could see her body shake with sobs. She wasn't sure if JJ even knew she was in the room, but seeing her wife crying alone tore Emily to pieces.

Pushing aside the argument and anger, Emily took two strides to reach the bed. Climbing in, she quickly pulled JJ close to her and wrapped an arm securely around her waist. JJ instantly relaxed into her and let Emily slowly rock her as sobs grew harder. Eventually both emotionally exhausted they drifted to sleep in each others arms.

Emily woke to the light of the day slowly escaping from the room. She still felt JJ's even controlled breathing that told her she was still sleeping. Shifting to look at the clock on the nightstand Emily groaned at the her still asleep arm. JJ shifted beside her before turning completely to look at Emily.

"Hey" Emily said softly brushing JJ's hair behind her ear.

"Hey yourself," JJ replied taking Emily's hand, "Em, I'm"

Before she could finish Emily placed her finger to JJ's lips. "I know me too"

The conversation was far from over, but for now Emily was content to hold her wife and forget everything else.

"You hungry baby?" JJ snuggled closer

As if on cue, Emily's stomach growled.

Laughing JJ had her answer, "Mexican or Chinese?"

"hmm Chinese!" Emily said rolling so that JJ lay on top of her and pulling her into a long passionate kiss that left them both gasping for air.

"Well Agent Prentiss, while I run out to grab us some dinner why don't you pick out a bottle of wine and set the mood so we can continue this later."

"Why Agent Jareau, what did you have in mind," she teased, "something like this," she finished before suddenly flipping JJ over and placing a trail of kisses from her collarbone to her earlobe where she nibbled playfully eliciting a moan from JJ.

"I will take that as a yes" she smiled giving JJ a final kiss before rolling off the bed.

"I promise I will hurry," JJ said pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"You better" Emily said pulling JJ to her. "I don't know how long I can wait"

Staring into Emily's mocha eyes JJ brushed a hand down her cheek. "I love you Emily."

No four words could make Emily's heart flutter so fast. "I love you too Jennifer"

JJ grabbed her keys and headed for the door before calling over her shoulder, "Be right back"

Emily estimated that it would take JJ about 5 minutes to get to the little Chinese store they loved a couple of blocks over, that would be about 10 minutes to wait for food and another 5 minutes back which left her with around 20 minutes to set the mood to make it a night either one of them would forget anytime soon.

The sound of the doorbell made Emily bolt upright from where she had dozed off on the couch. Trying to gather herself, she quickly noticed the clock on the oven in the kitchen that glowed 11:24. Everything looked exactly as she remembered before she fell asleep, but that couldn't be right. She didn't have time to think of it further as the doorbell pulled her back to reality. _JJ must have forgotten her key again. _Emily thought to herself pulling the front door open.

"Jennifer you said you would hur…" the sight in front of her didn't allow her to finish her sentence.

"Emily" Hotch's voice tried to penetrate her confusion.

Hotch stood at the door looking as if he had been 10 rounds with Mohammad Ali. His disheveled looks told Emily something had pulled him out of bed and brought him directly to her doorstep.

"Hotch what…what are you doing here" she was barely able to get out the question.

His red eyes met hers as he placed two hands on her shoulders. "Emily there's been an accident."

A/N: I know I know, but please please don't jump to conclusions. Please let me know what you think so far and I promise to update soon!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I forgot the disclaimer for the story so just so no one gets upset, I dont own criminal minds.

Chapter 2

The News

Emily felt the whirlwind around her. She couldn't make out the images in her mind or hear the voices clearly but she could feel it all.

"Emily. Emily," the barely distinguishable voice tried to penetrate the fog of her mind.

Slowly her senses were coming back. She felt two hands grasp hers and a soft thumb rub the back of her knuckles.

"Em, why don't we go upstairs." Garcia's voice still sounded a thousand miles away.

"No," Emily whispered emotionlessly

"Em, it would be…" Garcia started but was cut off.

"I said no," Emily was now fully aware of what was going on around her.

Her team was positioned at various spots of her living room and kitchen. Rossi was talking heatedly on the phone with who Emily guessed was the police, Hotch leaned against the entryway arch talking to family members, Reid just sat in recliner with a look of such pain on his face Emily knew she could never forget it, and Garcia knelt in front of her. Her eyes red and puffy but her voice still tender and loving.

"Ok Em, do you want me to get you anything?" she asked

"No Garcia, thank you. Where is Derek?"

"On the back patio, I think sugar." At least Garcia hoped he was still there and no off destroying something to get rid of his pain.

"Thanks" Emily said softly before rising from the couch and making her way to the backdoor.

Derek Morgan had always considered himself to be a tough guy. With all the things he had endured and seen in his life he had no choice but to be strong. However, the look on his best friend's face as she descended the back porch stairs brought him to tears. He had never seen anyone so broken.

"I honestly didn't think you would be out here," Emily told him with no emotions entering her words.

He knew it was true. No one expected him to keep a cool head. He knew he should be somewhere punching a wall or getting into a brawl but none of that seemed good enough... not for girl who he cared for as a sister.

"I just couldn't leave," he told her honestly tears now falling freely down his face.

"You know Derek," Derek could only look at what was the shell of Emily Prentiss as she spoke detached completely from everything around her, "I was naïve."

"Emily," he started but stopped not knowing what to say.

She continued without acknowledging him. "I always thought that because of our jobs, that because of what we do, some higher power thought we deserved a break." She laughed bitterly. "That because we put away the bastards the torment and murder, we somehow deserved to have one good thing in our life." she viciously wiped at the tears running down her cheeks. "She was my good thing, Derek." The pure pain of her words cut him like a knife. "I guess the jokes on me huh" She couldn't hold it all back anymore, the emotional turmoil that raged inside her broke through and she collapsed to the ground in sobs.

Derek moved swiftly to her and rocked her gently as the news of the past two hours took its toll on Emily.

_Flashback_

"_What do you mean an accident?!" Emily's words choked in her mouth._

"_Emily," he said leading her to the couch, "Its JJ" _

_Emily felt her heart stop, her breathing cease as her body closed in around her. _

_Then her mind took her over and screamed to her the absurdity of her boss' words._

"_What NO! You're wrong Hotch! Its not JJ! Its someone else! It can't be her!" Her last words came out as a shriek as she jerked upright._

"_It was a hit and run, JJ couldn't have seen it coming." He tried to explain _

_Emily's brain was frantically trying to wrap itself around Hotch's words but something was wrong. Why was he here? What were they doing sitting there? They needed to get to the hospital! Her mind fought to be logical._

"_Hotch we need to get to the hospital!" she said practically running from the living room and up the stairs. She returned seconds later to find Hotch exactly where she had left him. "What are you doing we need to get to the hospital!"_

_He stood slowly to stand in front of Emily. He was always prepared when it came to breaking the news to a victim's family. The words were always the same just a few changes in the names and that was it. Give them only the necessary details, promise to do everything you can to bring the person to justice, and offer your condolences. It was simple but effective. Now the words seemed ridiculous. He never imagined giving this news to someone he cared for deeply._

_Wrapping his arms around her stiff body, "She's gone Emily," _

_Emily would never forget how those three words sounded. JJ was gone. Her knees buckled under her and the world faded around her as Hotch held her._

As Derek walked back into the house with Emily securely at his side, all eyes turned to them. He guided her back to the couch before Garcia set a glass of water in her hands.

"Just a little Em," she said helping Emily to lift the glass to her lips.

Emily didn't know when the team had arrived but she vaguely remembered Hotch calling them.

"I want to know how it happened," Emily stated abruptly prompting a surprised expression from Garcia

"Do you thinks that's the best thing right now Em" she didn't know if Emily could take the details but she knew for certain she couldn't handle them.

"I need to know Garcia" she said flatly

Garcia glanced from Hotch to Rossi before he nodded and took Garcia's place in front of Emily. The rest of the team huddled in various places.

"From what we know, JJ was turning left onto 4th from New Hope when a driver struck her Infiniti on the driver's side. No one saw the accident, but from the way the cars were positioned the driver most likely ran the red light and didn't see JJ's car until it was too late. He left his car and fled." He paused as the anger inside him grew. The thought of some bastard leaving JJ to die in her car made Rossi promise when he got his hands on the guy death would be too generous. "Her car was leaking gas, a spark must have ignited it." He stopped; he wanted Emily to tell him not to say anymore, but she didn't. She kept her eyes focused directly into his. He knew she was looking for an inkling of hope that told her JJ didn't suffer. He tried to give that to her. "She didn't feel anything Emily. Paramedics at the scene said she was knocked unconscious on impact. There wasn't any pain."

He couldn't look at her anymore. He didn't need to be a profiler to know his attempts at reassurance had done nothing to ease the torment of his friend sitting in front of him. He was all too familiar with the personal hell that was raging a war within her. Rossi stood and turned to see the damage done to the rest of his team.

The boy genius was now bent over in his chair with his head in his hands as tears dripped heavily through his fingers. Garcia clung to Morgan begging for some of his renowned strength to flow into her, but he had no strength left, he clung to her with equal force. Rossi's eyes then fell to Hotch. At first he thought Hotch had sunk into his regular state of non emotion where he detached himself from the pain, but with a deeper look Rossi saw quite the opposite. The pain was too much for his body and it didn't allow Hotch to move or to cry. It left him paralyzed.

Rossi's eyes were caught by the mirror over the fireplace. His own image stared unrelenting back at him. Here was David Rossi, legendary profiler, a man who had faced the worst this world had to offer, and somehow this, all of this was unbearable. JJ didn't deserve this, Emily didn't deserve this, his team didn't deserve this. They were the good guys, they were always suppose to win.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: i haven't been able to get this story off of my mind, which is a good thing I guess. I have been lucky to have been able to keep finding the words that allow me to update regurlarly. i hope that continues because I enjoy writing it as much as I hope you enjoy reading it.

Chapter 3

The Promise

The sky seemed to know the somberness of the particular Friday in April. The weary grey clouds poured their sadness in heavy drops on the dark clothed group gathered on the small hilltop overlooking the Potomac.

Black umbrellas provided protection from the sadness of the sky but bore no boundary against the inner sadness that consumed the mourners who came to remember their co-worker, daughter, friend, and wife.

Water slid down the dark cherry wood of the coffin as if it didn't want to impose on the somber occasion, seeking to reside in a better place where the pain seemed a distant memory.

Unlike the water, the many gathered there could not escape their pain. One by one as they stepped forward to lay a token, a photograph, or a memory of the beautiful person they loved into the coffin, they said their final goodbye.

For one gathered there, no goodbye could ever be given. The brunette who stood stoic surrounded by her team, her family, knew she could never say goodbye to her love, to the amazing blonde hair blue eyed girl that made her whole.

When it was her turn she stepped towards the coffin, now filled with memories that once made her smile, and ran a hand through the empty space. There had been no remains of her wife, nothing to lie in the hollow earth after the brutal explosion. For that Emily was glad. She couldn't bear the thought of JJ lying alone down there.

From her pocket she pulled a simple but radiant diamond necklace. It was the one she had given JJ on their wedding day. Emily had wanted to get her something bigger something with more diamonds, but when the necklace had caught her eye something in it reminded her of JJ. On their wedding night when she had told JJ to close her eyes as she put the necklace around her neck, Emily knew she would never let go of the women in her arms.

She gently placed the necklace among the other reminders of JJ's amazing life, but no words of goodbye would be given. She would never allow herself to say those words. Saying those words would be telling herself it was ok to forget, ok to let the greatest moments of her life be filed away in the back of her mind. No, Jennifer Jareau deserved better than that.

But truthfully, if Emily was being honest with herself , something deep inside of her told her JJ couldn't be gone. She knew her friends would tell her it was just part of the grieving process and that it wasn't healthy to do this to herself, but whatever this was told Emily she would feel if JJ was gone.

She was content to try and suppress it when her friends and family rallied around her for support in the last couple of days, knowing they too were had lost someone they loved very much, but now the feeling was overtaking every part of her. It was a feeling she would no longer ignore.

So as family and friends looked on to the heartbreaking scene in front of them as Emily knelt beside JJ's coffin to whisper her goodbyes, little did they know that they were actually witness to a promise. A promise that Emily would find out exactly why her wife was taken from her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taking off his black tie and throwing it across the bed, the man sat down on the faded grey comforter. Moving to untie his rain soaked shoes, he was halted by the growing laughter in his chest.

If he hadn't witnessed it himself he knew he wouldn't have been able to believe it.

But he had witnessed it, witnessed them all standing there in the rain placing their tokens of remembrance into her empty coffin. The irony of the empty coffin sent him into another smug laughing fit.

"How could they be so stupid," he asked aloud triumphantly, "especially her," he grabbed a picture of the brunette from a collage that covered his wall. He tore the picture into pieces before throwing the shreds across the room.

"I love you so much I could never say goodbye to you," he said talking to the next picture he pulled delicately from the collage.

Running his fingers over the pictures surface, his body ached to touch her pale skin, to run his fingers through her flowing blonde hair.

A muffled sound pulled him from his thoughts, but he could only smile as the muffled sound grew quieter and quieter until he couldn't hear it anymore. It was almost time he thought to himself, almost but not just yet, there were things that needed to be done first.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One week later

He knocked again. He knew she was home and she wasn't trying to hide it. He could see lights from the kitchen and her car was in the driveway. Mail was piled high on her doorstep and newspapers from the last week littered her sidewalk. She hadn't opened the door for any of the others, why did he think he was any different.

She hadn't even acknowledged Garcia's pleads to let her in because she had brought Emily her favorite triple chocolate cake, Reid didn't fair much better with his attempts at a movie night, Hotch turned away when he got no answer begging for Emily to let them help her.

He was beginning to think Rossi was right. Maybe Emily did just need her time and space to figure things out on her own.

All Derek knew, however, was that the women through that door, his best friend, was hurting and he couldn't just stand by and let her do it alone.

He slid the key in the lock, and silently thanked JJ for knowing he would take care of Emily if anything happened to her. He reached in his pocket and felt the opened letter in his pocket. It was given to him just after the funeral. JJ had always been prepared.

He checked his other pocket. His finger grazed the unopened letter with Emily's name scribed on the outside in JJ's distinct handwriting. He stepped through the door, praying Emily believed in not shooting the messenger.

Before Derek could get all the way through the door, though, he was stopped by the scene in front of him. It looked as though a tornado had mysteriously formed in his friend's house, leaving papers, boxes, and file folders spread haphazardly everywhere. They covered almost every surface of the living room and as he moved to the kitchen he saw it hadn't been spared.

"Jesus," he muttered stunned.

He moved to pick up an opened file off the kitchen table. He cringed when he read the heading on the first page. Pictures slipped from the file and he knelt to pick them up off the floor.

"Oh God," he said disbelievingly

"What are you doing here Derek?" came Emily's voice from behind him

He spun around to face her with the pictures still in his hand.

If he hadn't seen Emily Prentiss everyday for the past three years, he wouldn't have recognized her. Her usual glowing mocha eyes were hollow and sunken. Her sweats hung loosely to her pale skin and the weight she had lost in the last week was oddly noticeable.

"I said what are you doing here Derek?" she asked again when he could only stare at her.

"Em…I… What are you doing Em?" he asked concern etched on his face as he held up the pictures.

"What do you mean what am I doing," she asked heatidly grabbing the photos from his hand.

"Jesus Emily, is this what you have been doing hold up in here this whole time," he didn't really need her to answer to know it was true.

She ignored his question and instead sat down at the kitchen table where she flipped open another file.

"Em, you don't need to do this, it was an accident we have all been through the report," he said sitting down next to her and placing a hand on her arm.

She flinched away before meeting his eye. "It wasn't an accident Derek"

The statement hit him like a tons of bricks. This was worse than he could have ever anticipated. "I saw it myself, Emily, the coward hit her and then ran." He didn't mean to be so blunt but it was obviously something she needed to hear.

"IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT!" she screamed knocking over the chair as she stood. "Look, look at this, here" she pointed to the photo he had picked up off the floor.

"look at what Em?" he didn't want to sound like he was buying into what she was saying.

"Right there, don't you see it, the brake line in the other car, its severed." She was begging him to see it too.

"Emily," seeing her like this tore him apart, "Things like that can happen when a car strikes another one. The line could have been severed a number of ways."

"No, it was cut Derek, I know it was cut!"

He couldn't take this. He knew he could never know what Emily was going through and he hoped he never had to find out if he ever loved someone as much as Emily loved JJ, but he had to stop her before what she was doing consumed her completely.

Taking her by the shoulders, he forced her to meet his gaze. "Emily, JJ is gone, she died in that accident. Its not fair and god knows she didn't deserve this," he said forcefully picking up the picture of JJ's torched Infiniti and shoving it into Emily's hands. "but we have to move on. If JJ knew what you were doing to yourself, you know she would kick your ass herself. Jesus, girl, you need to pick up the pieces, maybe not today, maybe not next week, but one day you are going to have see that JJ is never coming back." It was more potent than he had intended but she needed to hear this, no she had to hear it.

"Get out Derek," the blaze of fire in her eyes burned him to the core. He had pushed too hard.

"Em.."

"I said GET OUT!" the last coming out as a shriek.

He had no choice but to turn and go, leaving his best friends with the mounds of files and pictures that covered every detail of how JJ had spent her last moments. He pulled the unopened letter from his pocket, and set it on the small table in the entry hall.

"I hope you have better luck, Jayj," he said as his fingers grazed the envelope. With that he turned and did as Emily requested, he left... for now.

A/N: So there was your first glimpse at the twist. Think you know? don't be afraid to review and PM me what you think. Thank you thank you again to all who have taken the time to do so thus far it really does keep me updating quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry this update is a few days slower than my other ones. traveling back from vacation and all. good news is I had time to write another chapter so look for it later in the day.

A/N: disclaimers- 1) I defintely don't own criminal minds and 2) I don't know didly about cars so I made up most of what you will read about the car accident (yeah i don't acctually know if it could happen but hey i like to think it sounds believable)

Chapter 4

Getting Back on the Horse

"Conference room in 5," Hotch called striding from his office.

"Nothing like jumping right back in" Reid said flatly

"I know kid," Morgan placed his hand on the genius' shoulder knowing it offered little comfort, "but it's time, she would want us to." The past week and a half had been hard on them all. After that night, he had promised himself that he wouldn't break down again. His friends needed his strength and he made damn sure to give them all he had.

Derek and Reid made their way to the conference room where they found Rossi and Hotch waiting for them.

"Where's Garcia?" Hotch inquired passing out the folders

"Here sir,' the tech analyst said quietly before plopping down in one of the three empty chairs. Her usually cheery demeanor was not only absent from her voice but also wiped completely from her appearance. Her usual bright pink or metallic blue streaks were gone from her straight blonde hair, and her outfit of a black skirt and white top showed none of her usual individualist personality.

Her gaze lingered on the two empty chairs, the one in particular that sat with its back to the television monitor. A vision of her best friend smiled back at her.

"Gacia," Hotch's voice pulled her imagination back to reality, "Did you get those files I asked you for." They sympathy in his eyes told her he knew what she had been thinking.

"Yes, sir. I pulled them this morning," she said handing the files across the table to him.

"Alright," Hotch clicked the remote and 3 pictures appeared on the screen. "Mapleton, Virginia. Three female victims, all with red hair, taken from their homes, found four days later under various bridges strangled, raped, and scalped."

"How do we know they were all red heads," Rossi sent out the easy question trying to kindle the brainstorming session from his disheartened team.

"Their scalps were found on stakes, atop the bridge." Hotch clicked to the next slide.

Hotch turned back to his team, well what was left of his team he thought. The looks on their faces barely acknowledged the grotesque picture on the screen. He wanted this case to be a distraction, something they could throw themselves at. It would be difficult he understood, with JJ gone and Emily in no shape to return to work, but he hoped this case would provide a small escape from their pain, from his own pain.

Hotch sighed setting down the remote and glancing to Rossi, who gave him a knowing nod.

"I know this won't be easy," he started watching as they all looked up to meet his eyes, "but there are people out there that still need us. I know it feels like we are somehow not complete without them here," at least he knew that is how he felt, "that just going on as if nothing has changed is betraying her." Hotch paused seeing the tears gather in Garcia's eyes. "but we all know its not what she would want us to do. JJ always said we had to be the voice for the victims, and these girls," he clicked their images back on the screen, "they need us to be their voice now."

For a moment no one moved, as if they were physically torn between helping the girls on the screen and remaining true to their friend.

Hotch was surprised when Reid was the first to speak. The deep hollowness of his eyes forced Hotch to not look away.

"We will take this case, Hotch," the lack of emotion almost startled him, "but we are not going to leave Emily."

Reid's body language told Hotch there was something about the missing profiler he didn't know. "No, Reid of course we aren't going to leave her. I chose this case to keep us close to home to make sure we could keep an eye.." he was cut off.

"I have been keeping an eye on her, we all have." Morgan and Garcia nodded in agreement.

"I know Reid, she just needs some time," Hotch shook his head remembering how Emily hadn't even opened the door the last time he had gone to her house begging her to talk to him.

"It's more than that," Morgan said as he ran his hands down his face.

Hotch waited patiently for him to explain.

"She doesn't believe JJ is dead," Garcia finished for him

"That's normal," Hotch tried to assure them it was just a stage of the grieving process.

"No Hotch, what she is doing isn't normal" Morgan shook his head.

"What do you mean?" he asked wishing someone would tell him what the hell was going on with Emily.

"She is going through every case file and report on what happened in the accident. Her entire house is covered in papers and boxes. She is sure what happened to JJ was not an accident. The last time I was there, she tried to show me how the brake line of the other car had been cut on purpose." Morgan ground out.

"Jesus," was all Hotch could say as he tried to take it all in. Before he could say anything else Rossi stood.

"You guys head to Mapleton, its only about an hour from here. Start working on the profile." he told them.

"Dave, where are you going," Hotch asked as Rossi moved towards the door.

"I've been there Aaron," he said without turning back, "she just needs someone to listen." And he would, Rossi told himself. He would listen and when she was done he hoped he could show her the truth without breaking her into pieces.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He opened the door and stepped carefully down the stairs as to not upset the tray he was carrying. The man sat the trey on the small table before reaching into his pockets and removing the ring of keys. One by one he unlocked the seven locks to the steel, soundproof door. Taking the tray once again, he stepped slowly into the room.

"I brought you some lunch," he moved towards the huddled figure in the corner.

The figure didn't acknowledge him.

"You have to eat," he said setting the tray in front of her, "made it myself,"

She lunged forward to knock over the tray spilling, its contents on the dirty floor.

"Now, why did you have to go and do something like that," the man asked but with more of confusion in his voice than anger.

"Just leave me alone," she whispered never lifting her head.

"You know I can't do that," he reached out to stroke her blonde hair. She tried to move further back into the corner. "I have waited so long to have you here with me," he let his finger slide smoothly down the soft skin of her arm. He ignored the way her body shook with fear.

"Please, just let me go," she begged as small tears escaped her eyes.

The anger inside of him grew at her wanting to leave him. "You are mine, Jennifer, and I won't let you leave me!" he swiped a hand across the tray still lying at his feet throwing it hard against the adjacent wall.

She flinched back but looked up with the fire that had yet to fail her in her week and a half of being held captive. "I am NOT yours," she screamed. "and when my wife finds you, you will regret ever breathing, you bastard."

Watching as the petite blonde in front of him, shook with rage, he let the arousal of his body wash over him. Quickly stepping forward and forcefully pulling her against him, he smiled at the daggers that shot from her eyes. He grabbed her chin and waited until she had stopped struggling.

"You're precious Emily is never coming to save you," he released her chin to find the photo in his pocket. He shoved it into her face. "You are dead to her Jennifer."

He shoved her back to the floor and threw the photograph down at her sob racked body. Before closing the door, he turned back to her.

"If I were you, Jennifer, I would start cooperating. No one is coming to save you. You are going to be here with me forever,"

Her body should have felt the room shake at the force of the door slamming, but she was too focused on the picture in her hands to notice anything anymore. The sound of the seven locks being forced into place, the coldness that seeped into her body from the cold floor, the burning of the chain that broke into the skin of her ankle, were nothing to her.

She stroked a finger down the figure in the photograph. It was Emily kneeling down by a coffin, her lips in the middle of a somber message. A large portrait of JJ stood of to the side as the rain wept slowly down it.

"I love you Emily, please don't give up on me." JJ leaned back against the cold wall of her cell and closed her eyes to escape to a place where she could feel Emily's protecting arms around her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emily felt her heart tighten in her chest. She put down the file was holding and tried to catch her breath. What the hell was that, she asked herself?

Her glanced around the sight in front of her. For the first time in nearly 10 days Emily really took in her surroundings. The self imposed destruction of her house, brought a half smile to her face, JJ would kill her for having their home such a mess.

She stood up to stretch her legs that had been stuck in the same position for God knew how long. Walking to the bookshelf, she picked up her favorite picture of her and JJ. Captured at just the right moment, when she and JJ had been lost in a world all their own, it had been taken as they danced to their first song as a married couple.

Emily could still feel the softness of her wife's skin against hers as they moved as one to the music. She remembered thinking she could get lost in those sparkling blue eyes that still sent her weak at the knees.

"I will never give up on you Jennifer," she said gliding her fingers down JJ's cheek in the photograph.

She sat down on the couch, and pulled the frame close to her chest, with no energy left to fight the overpowering exhaustion, she drifted off to sleep as the memories of the happiest day of her life played in her dreams.

A rustling from the kitchen made Emily jerk awake suddenly a few hours later. Groaning as the sun intrusively penetrated her eyes, she felt the picture slip from her grasp, landing with a crash on the hardwood floor.

"Damn it!" she cried kneeling to pick up the broken glass.

"I didn't mean to wake you," came Rossi's voice from the entry way.

Spinning quickly to face the intruder, Emily felt the anger rise in her. "I never took you for one to break and enter Rossi," she said coldly.

Stepping towards her, he noticed the picture she clutched in her hands. "I remember that day," he said nodding down at the photo, "reminded me of the look my Abigail had in her eyes the day we were married."

Caught off guard by his words Emily could only stare at the older profiler.

"My first wife," he said taking the picture from her, "she was so beautiful, had the fiery wit to match it too," he smiled as Emily let out a soft laugh.

"I have never heard you talk about her," Emily began.

"When she died," he saw the surprise etched in Emily's eyes, "something in me died with her. I knew I could never love anyone like I loved her," he paused as his eyes filled with tears.

Noting her own tears beginning to form Emily truly looked at the man she had always considered such an enigma. "Sir," she tried to stop him.

Holding up a hand, "As my reputation accurately describes, I tried to find someone to love again, but it was never enough, Abigail will always be the love of my life." He didn't wipe the tear that fell from his eye.

"How did she die," Emily didn't want to pry but the understanding in her boss' eyes pushed her forward.

"Drunk driver," he shook his head, "in our line of work, you always think you will be the one to leave, you are never prepared when you aren't." Emily could see the silent guilt still rooted deep into the soul of the man in front of her.

Silence filled the room before Rossi placed either hand on Emily's shoulders.

"It wasn't an accident," whispered desperately before breaking down into sobs.

Pulling her into a hug, "Ok Em, ok," He waited for her body to stop shaking before leaning her back so she could look at him. "I will listen, I won't say anything until you are done," he assured her, "but when you are done you are going to listen to me, ok."

"Ok," she whispered through her tears.

A/N: look for next chapter later on today, hoped you enjoyed this one. thanks again for the all the reviews keep them coming they really are my inspiration.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: this chapter is a little shorter than others, but I didn't want to start another line of thoght. Next chapter will be more about JJ promise!

Chapter 5

The Team

Exactly 2 hours and 32 minutes later, David Rossi starred disbelievingly at the papers spread out in front of him. Surely he had missed something he thought to himself. _You came here to show this women the truth, no get swept up into her frantic attempts to hold onto her dead wife_ Rossi's mind berated him.

As much as he tried to listen to the warnings sounding in his head, David Rossi couldn't help but feel how off all of what Emily had showed him seemed.

"See right here," Emily continued hastily not noticing his moment of thought, "The DNA they collected from JJ's Infiniti wasn't conclusive!"

"Emily," Rossi started scrubbing his face with his hands, "The DNA wasn't conclusive because there was hardly any left to gather a sample,"

"NO, Dave! It wasn't conclusive because it wasn't JJ in the car!" she yelled in rebuff.

God, he didn't want to believe her. Christ, he had been there, known the pain that threatened to consumer every part of her. What she was doing, was all part of grieving, albeit blown slightly out of proportion, he told himself. But something just didn't fit. Staring at the evidence Emily had gathered to support her case, he went through it once again.

The way in which the brake line appeared to have been severed didn't match any other damage done to that area of the Chevy pickup of the unknown driver. The girl, whose appearance oddly resembled JJ's same height, body type, hair color, even skin tone, that had gone missing the day before the accident couldn't possibly be connected, could it? What about the lack of eyewitnesses, that was almost too convenient with the timing of it all, and now the forensic evidence didn't even show it was conclusively JJ in the Infiniti.

Sitting back in his chair while going over the accident report for the fiftieth time, David Rossi told himself what he was about to say lawfully called for him to be institutionalized.

He sighed looking up to find the belief burning furiously in her brown eyes, "God help me, Emily, but I believe you."

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_The next morning_

"Ok, lets review what we have so far," Hotch told the group gathered around the small table in the Mapleton Police Department.

"His victims are easy targets, low risk grabs," Morgan started

"Takes them when they are most vulnerable, at night when its likely no one will miss them for several hours," Reid added

"So what does he do with them between the time he abducts them and the time he dumps them under the bridge four days later," Hotch threw out

"According to the ME, there are no signs of physical torture on any of the victims. In fact besides the strangulation marks and the ligature marks, there is not a scratch on them," Morgan said shaking his head.

"Ok so this unsub doesn't get off by torturing him, maybe its something emotional," Hotch thought aloud, "Lets look at victimology."

"Besides being single, live alone, red heads, I got nothing," Garcia said from behind her laptop, "I can't find anywhere where these girl's lives meet."

"It's possible there is not a connection besides their appearance and their vulnerability. The unsub locks in on a certain type of person, for instance someone who resembles a significant figure in his life, and attempts to reconcile whatever trauma that person inflicted, by murdering them over and over again," Reid concluded.

Hotch let a small smile escape his lips. He knew the fact that the unsub was choosing considerably random victims made finding him that much harder, but the Unit Chief couldn't help but feel his team beginning to find themselves again. Now if he could get the legendary profiler to grace them with his presence and Emily to return in her own time, his team would be as close to complete as it could ever get again.

As the thoughts about the absent David Rossi ran through his head, Hotch's attention was pulled to the surprising figures striding through the conference room door.

David Rossi stood commandingly with an all business looking, suite glad Emily Prentiss by his side.

"Peaches, what, what are you doing here?!" Penelope said standing obviously shocked to find her friend there.

Before Emily could reply, Rossi marched to the head of the table, "I know what you all are going to say, but I need you to hear us out," he said forcefully.

The four nodded as Emily pulled out folders from her briefcase and passed them around still not meeting any of her friends eyes.

"Don't open them yet," Dave instructed as he paused to choose his next words carefully

"JJ's accident wasn't an accident," he said immediately taking in the disbelieving looks the team shot him.

"Rossi, man not you.." Derek was cut off

"I said hear me out, Morgan."

Derek simply shook his head but didn't make a move to say anything else.

David laid out to the team every shred of evidence they had found to prove that JJ's accident was in fact not an accident at all. Showing them the missing persons report, the after accident assessment of the Chevy pickup, the fact that no eyewitnesses were found, and finally the inconclusive forensic report, he stopped and allowed the members of their team to take in all he had just explained.

Several long minutes later, Morgan spoke first.

"So let me get this straight. You believe that someone managed to kidnap a girl matching JJ's description, perfectly coordinate when JJ would be driving through the intersection at New Hope and 4th, somehow cut the brake lines of the truck to impact JJ's Infiniti at that exact moment, switch JJ out of her car and replace her with the kidnapped girl before igniting the car to explode, all without anyone seeing a thing," the doubt and a little underlying anger rang heavy in his voice.

Sighing Rossi leaned forward and placed both hand on the table, "I know it sounds ridiculous, but its all way to convenient not to be connected somehow."

"Look," all eyes turned to Emily who spoke for the first time since arriving, "I know JJ isn't dead, I would feel it. I am going to find out what happened to my wife, and while I am asking for your help, I won't sit here and beg for you to trust me."

Penelope Garcia tried to wrap her brain around everything. Could what they were saying be true? She watched as Reid thumbed apprehensively through the packet of evidence once again before glancing over at Morgan who still sat shaking is head in obvious disbelief. She then looked up into Emily's eyes. Where Garcia had known her friend was being honest when she said she wouldn't beg for their help, her eyes told the tech goddess a different story. They showed how desperately Emily needed to do this, how badly she needed some kind of closure.

Walking around to Emily, Garcia took her hands, "Whatever you need Em, you know I'm there. Whatever happened to our Buttercup, we'll find her," she said pulling Emily into a hug.

Pulling away from Garcia and letting the quirky analyst wipe away a tear that escaped down her cheek, Emily noticed Reid quietly debating to himself. After a minute he met her gaze,

"Screw the statistics," he said defiantly, "JJ deserves better!"

"Thank you Spencer," she said before looking to Morgan, "Derek, I would understand,' He stopped her.

"I'm not saying I believe all of this," he said motioning to all the papers, "but if you need me I'm there Em," He was quickly engulfed in bone crushing Garcia hug.

"Ok Em, we are all present and accounted for, what do we do first," Penelope said releasing Derek so he could breathe.

"Well Garcia, that's just it, Emily and I have run through every file and every report at least fourty times and we honestly don't know where to go from here," Rossi admitted, "We were hoping fresh eyes would give us something."

"Well I might be able to help with that," David had almost forgotten Hotch sitting quietly in the corner, and if he was truthful with himself Rossi had figured Hotch would be ardently against their theory in the first place. But what he heard his 'boss' say next sent renewed faith in the younger man selling through David Rossi.

"I know where to start."

A/N: So, yes, finally next chapter you will find our what Hotch and JJ were talking about in the beginning. Thank you thank you for reading and as always feel free to drop me a line to tell me what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: sorry it has taken me so long to update, i liked being able to update everday but no more vacation. Still i promise to try and update every couple of days.

Chapter 6

A Second Chance

JJ opened her eyes to find the dream she had been having was just that, a dream. She wasn't home wrapped in the sheets of her king size bed, nestled against Emily's radiating warmth. No, she was still in the sickish nightmare that had begun almost 10, no 11 days ago she told herself as she used her fingernail to scratch another notch in the wood of the small window sill.

That small window had been her saving grace. The little sunlight that penetrated her prison, was her only connection to the outside world. She shuddered at the thought of being left in total darkness all the time. At night when the sunlight had long since faded and the darkness filled the walls of the small room, she couldn't help but feel that she was in a coffin.

Pulling out the picture, her captor had thrown at her just the day before, she grimaced at the sight of Emily kneeling at her coffin.

"Don't give up on me, Em. You have to feel that I'm not gone," she whispered running her finger along the figure of her wife for the thousandth time.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood as her captors hot breath whispered across her soft skin "What are you thinking of Jennifer?" she shuddered at his closeness having never heard him enter.

Quickly suppressing the bile that ran up her throat, she turned to face him. With venom in her eyes she answered him, "I was thinking of my wife," she hissed.

She didn't see it coming, but the pain of the back of his hand as it connected with her cheek threw her back against the wall.

"I won't tolerate this anymore Jennifer," he bellowed unleashing his anger of rejection for the past 11 days on the women who was meant to love him.

JJ registered the kick to her head and the one to her ribs, she tried to see through the blood that began to stain her vision, but soon she couldn't feel his fury anymore and the darkness threatened to take her.

Her last thoughts as she slipped away were of Emily, her hair as it flipped vigorously in the wind as the couple drove through the country side in her convertible, how she smelled of honeysuckle as JJ watched her sleep in the early morning light.

And as the final piece of darkness took her she felt Emily's soft skin wrap around her, as she whispered "I love you Emily."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emily Prentiss had known anger in her day, quite a few times actually, when her mother had discarded her favorite doll in the garbage when she was just seven years old telling her such things were too childish, or when JJ had known just what buttons to push in one of the few arguments the found themselves having, but now listening to the words that left her boss' mouth Emily couldn't control the rage growing inside her.

"You knew, all this time, you fucking knew," she exploded at Hotch.

"Emily, please I can explain," he couldn't fault her for the anger she showed

"Explain?! Hotch your time to explain was the day I walked into your office begging you to tell me what was happening with my wife!" she bit out.

"I know," he shook his head, "she didn't want me too, I had to respect that. She knew you would worry."

"WORRY! No need to worry, right Hotch! JJ is out there with someone who is intelligent enough to stage her death and you figured it was ok not to worry with the information you had all this time!" her laugh sounded almost manic.

"Even with the information we have, we still can't be certain JJ is still alive," he knew he had missed his attempt at reason when he saw the fire overtake her eyes completely.

She lunged at him, but before she could reach the Unit Chief, Morgan had her around the waist pulling her back. "Don't you dare," she yelled beating her fists against Morgan's unrelenting grip but still keeping her eyes burning directly through Hotch.

"You don't get to say that! You bastard, you could have stopped this all! If it weren't for you she would still be here! She would be here with me!" the last words came out as a choked sob as Emily broke down completely in Morgan's arms.

Hotch knew he deserved her anger. He almost welcomed her fury at his decision to keep the information he had a secret. The profiler in him also knew that if he took the brunt of Emily's rage, he could keep her from focusing on the other person she was truly angry at… JJ.

As Hotch watched Garcia take her friend into her arms, and slowly walk out of the conference room, with Emily clinging to the technical analyst for all she had, he went through his own reasoning for keeping the discussion he had had with the media liaison to himself. Knowing nothing he could say now could change what was the past, he turned to the remainder of his team seated around the table knowing he deserved their anger too.

_Flashback…_

"_JJ can I see you in my office," Hotch called from his doorway._

"_yeah sure Hotch," JJ replied warily as she hopped off of Reid's desk._

"_oooh someone's in trouble," Morgan taunted teasingly._

_He could only laugh as JJ stuck out her tongue at him, before disappearing into their Unit Chief's office._

"_Did we get another case," she asked just standing inside of the door._

"_No JJ this isn't about a case. Do you mind sitting," he asked as he pulled a file from his right desk drawer._

"_um ok," she replied hesitantly taking a seat in one of the leather chairs that faced him._

_He moved to open the file, but stopped and sighed as he looked up at her. "JJ, you know you can come to me with anything right?" _

_She simply nodded a little taken back by the direction the conversation was going_

"_I know that while I'm your boss, we, this team, well we have been through a lot together," he paused looking for the right words to continue._

"_Hotch," she said placing her hand over his that still fidgeted with the file, "I know, we are family, all of us," she finished for him._

_He smiled at how good JJ was with words, hell it was her job after all he thought. _

_The release of her hand pulled him back from his thoughts. _

"_This was dropped off yesterday," he said extending the file to the blonde. _

_He waited for her reaction as she thumped through the pages, pausing on the last one. _

_Much to his surprise she didn't react the way had expected, the way he had reacted, the way he was sure the members of his team would have reacted upon seeing the contents, especially a certain brunette he told himself. _

_No, when he had first seen the pictures of JJ getting in her car, walking up her front porch steps, sitting on her couch through a window reading a book, even one of her and Emily holding hands at a local market, he had been worried. _

_But it wasn't until he found the last page that that worry had turned to fear. _

_That last picture, was one of JJ on her wedding day. She stood in her flowing white gown, eyes sparkling as her lips were caught right in the middle of saying her vows. The problem was, Emily was not the figure standing next to her. Standing in a tuxedo was a figure whose face had been purposefully distorted. At the bottom in red ink was written "Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom" It sent chills down his spine._

"_JJ" he called pulling back to the media liaison who had remained stoic in front of him._

"_Hotch we get these all the time," she said with firm assurance._

"_JJ this is a little more than your average threat," he said as concern furrowed in his brow._

"_Hotch I don't even know if you can classify it as a threat. I mean the ones Morgan got last month from those angered strippers, now those were threats," she laughed trying to lighten the subject._

_He didn't buy it. "This is very different, JJ and I think you know why," he told her seriously._

"_I don't know…" she was cut off._

"_JJ, I think you do." _

_She exhaled loudly before leaning back in her chair, "How did you know?" _

"_I had the package tracked. It gave us no names or addresses but we were able to tell from the company it was sent through that this was not the first package, only the first one sent to the office," he said raising an eyebrow._

_She nervously tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "No its not the first one," she admitted in almost a whisper never meeting his eyes._

"_How many JJ" _

"_I don't know maybe 5, wait 6 in the last 6 months, always on the same day, the 12__th__ I think,"_

"_Were they like this one?"_

"_No there were never pictures just the same cryptic message and a single red rose."_

"_And let me guess Emily doesn't know." it wasn't a question._

"_You really think we would be having this discussion if I had told her," she gave a short laugh, "she would have me locked in a safe house in Siberia if she knew,"_

_Hotch couldn't deny that but at the moment he was inclined to agree with the overprotective profiler. "JJ I don't like this, I know we have seen things like this before, hell a dozen aimed directly at me over the years, but this," he said picking up the last picture again, "is too much for me to ignore."_

"_Look Hotch," JJ wouldn't stand behind the casual banter to downplay the situation anymore. She didn't need someone to tell her what to do about her own problems. Christ, if she had wanted someone to do that, she would have just told Emily. "I appreciate your concern Hotch, I really do, but this is just some kid's sick fantasy. It will all fade," she said standing and heading for the door._

"_JJ" he called as she reached for the handle. He didn't want to overstep his bounds but he wanted to make sure his views on the matter were clear. JJ was his friend, his family, and he would be damned if anything happened to her. "I will leave alone, but if you receive anything, I mean anything that's connected to this, you come to me." _

_She contemplated her reply for a moment, before answering him, "Ok Hotch, if anything else shows up you will be the first to know, but on one condition."_

_"Alright" he said_

_"Emily can't find out about any of this." _

_He didn't have time to argue, before JJ turned and walked out of his office_.

Aaron Hotchner was not one to place too much on irony, but when he had received the phone call from the police officer on scene the night of the accident, the only thing he could think of was how ironic it was he had vowed to protect her from the evils he saw too much in his line of work only to have a member of his family be taken away from him by a senseless act.

Now, as he met the eyes of the remainder members of his team, the belief that this could be his second chance to keep his promise began to take root. And at least if JJ was gone, he told himself, he would find out what had really happened. She deserved that.

"Lets find her."

A/N: not all that happy with this chapter, but needed to expalin the whole JJ/Hotch discussion. Tried to stay true to how I thought each character would react to the situation given. Let me know what you think, good, bad ugly, super ugly, I don't care every review helps. Thanks for reading

A/N: oh forgot to mention if you have also been reading my story "I Run to You" look for an update on that very soon!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ok, here is the next chapter. I hope its moving at a good pace for everyone. Sometimes I think it's a little slow but there is so much to get through especially when it comes to piecing together the case.

Chapter 7

The Mountain

Emily placed both of her hands and leaned heavily on the sink of the bathroom in the Mapleton Police Department. Glancing up at the mirror she barely recognized the women starring back at her. The deep purple of the bags and the blood shot lines that zig zagged away from her brown eyes clearly showed just how little she had slept in the past 11 days.

She ran a hand through her hair and let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding as she felt a soft hand touch her shoulder. She didn't need to look up to know that Garcia stood beside her.

"She has been out there all this time Pen"

Penelope only nodded knowing Emily needed to let whatever she had bottled up, out.

"She has been out there all this time, and it's my fault"

"Em" Garcia forced the brunette to turn and look at her, "This is NOT your fault," she stated firmly.

"Isn't it though? I knew something was wrong, but instead of talking to JJ about it, I went to Hotch," Garcia could almost feel the guilt Emily carried burning through her tears.

"You were just doing what you thought was best, angel." Garcia quickly wiped the single tear that escaped her friend's eye.

"And look where it got me." Emily gave a short laugh, "strong willed, overbearing Emily strikes again."

"Don't you do this Emily, DON'T you dare!" Garcia grew serious.

Emily's eyes widened at her friend's sudden tone.

"You will stop feeling sorry for yourself this instant," the tech analyst continued, " If you want to be pissed at Hotch, fine I get that and I am right there with you. If you even want to be mad at JJ, fine Em, because when it comes down to it, I am angry at her too for not feeling like she could trust us, her family, with what was going on. She didn't trust us to help her." Garcia paused as her true emotions continued to come out in waves of words.

"But if you think for one second Emily Prentiss that I am going to let you blame yourself for this, you have got one hell of another thing coming!" Garcia's voice grew higher with each word.

Emily could only stare at her friend with that trademark unreadable expression, which with the way the conversation was going, Garcia sure as hell was not about to settle for.

Garcia took Emily's hands and forced her to meet her eyes.

"Emily, I have never seen two people more in love than you and JJ. You would move mountains for each other." She had Emily's eyes locked on hers.

" I can't change what Hotch did, what JJ did, what this sick SOB did, but that is the past. What I can change though is the fact that you are going to get yourself together right now," she said reaching into her purse that could pass for a suitcase and pulling out a full size box of Kleenex, "and you are going to move your cute ass over that mountain because if I know our girl, and I do, she is fighting like hell to get back you!"

"Now," Garcia's voice returned suddenly to its regular peppy tone, "wipe your tears Peaches, we got my best friend to find." And with that she marched from the restroom leaving a speechless, but newly focused Emily in her wake.

Gathering herself, she reached into her pocket for the picture she had taken from the bookshelf. Tracing a finger over JJ's pale cheek she whispered with sound resolve, "I'm coming baby, fight for us."

With that Emily Prentiss all but ran out of the bathroom determined to move the mountain that stood between her and the women she loved.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgan could feel the tension rise in dining room.

After Rossi had personally called the director of the FBI to tell him that the team would be leaving Mapleton to pursue a lead in another more pressing case, the team had raced back to Emily and JJ's house to go over everything there was about the accident.

Now, four hours and twelve boxes of Chinese take out later, they found themselves at another dead end.

"Lets go through it again," Hotch said standing to pace the room, "start with Megan Kinsley"

"She went missing from her apartment two days before the accident. 5'6, blonde hair, blue eyes, slim build. No witnesses. Parents called the police three days later when their daughter didn't show up for their weekly dinner which apparently she never missed. CSU turned up no DNA in her apartment, but signs of a struggle were evident." Reid recited automatically as if reading from the report itself.

The others sat at various spots around the room taking in the information once again.

"Why her, why Megan?" Garcia bit first.

"She lived alone, no one would notice she was missing for awhile, oh and well she looks exactly like JJ!" Emily shot back.

"ok," Rossi said placing a hand on Emily's shoulder and gently forcing her into the closest chair, "lets look at her more closely. Garcia," the blonde looked up from behind her laptop, "find me anything out of the ordinary that went on in Megan's life over the past 6 months. It's obvious this bastard has been planning this for a long time. Check her credit cards, travel plans, anything that strikes you as different."

"On it sir," Garcia said as she disappeared behind her screen and began to type fervently.

"Morgan, tell me about the cars," Rossi commanded turning to Derek, who had been overly withdrawn since they had arrived.

Derek looked apprehensively at Rossi and then at the other faces who stared at him patiently. A few hours ago he had been certain. Certain that JJ couldn't possibly be out there. The possibility was monumentously against them. But now after their four hour brainstorming session, Derek was beginning to find holes in his own argument, and it started with the vehicle report he clutched in his hand.

At that moment, as Derek locked eyes with Emily, his best friend, the person he had come to trust with anything including his life, he knew he couldn't deny her the chance to find out what truly happened to JJ, the girl who was his sister in every sense of the word besides blood.

"Alright," Derek said more to Emily in a subtle pact that he was fully onboard now than to Rossi's inquiry.

"The pickup collided with the Infiniti at precisely the right time to impact the driver's door perfectly, almost too perfectly." He let his words settle over the group. "Everything about this accident is too perfect."

"First," he said drawing a picture of a car in the middle of an intersection on a whiteboard Emily had taken from her office, "the pickup," Derek drew a the other vehicle impacting the Infiniti, "hits the driver's side door as if the Infinit wasn't even moving,"

"But if she was turning, why would she be moving?" Reid was trying to get on board with Morgan's line of thinking.

Morgan suddenly made a lunge at the boy genius, and as expected Reid jumped back suddenly.

"The question is Reid, why wasn't she moving," the light bulb went off in Reid's head at the demonstration.

"She would have reacted! With no one else on the road, the only lights JJ would have seen would have been the one's coming at her, and she would have tried to move, tried to get out of the way!" Reid shrieked in realization.

"It was too perfect to be an accident," Morgan continued knowing the group hung on where his explanation was going.

"Now, look at the remains of the pickup," he continued holding up the next photo, "the brake lines appear to be severed but nothing else around it has any of the same type of damage," he nodded to Emily silently apologizing for dismissing her arguments early.

She nodded in reply seeming to accept his apology.

Morgan kept going as the anticipation grew. "but that's not the only things that's off," he said raising an eyebrow and placing the photo of the charred remains of the two vehicles on the table.

"Where did the fire start?" he hoped they were following.

"There was no reason for there to be a fire," Emily said barely above a whisper standing again, "if the pickup hit exactly in the right position to impact the driver, nothing should have sparked a flame to ignite the gas tank," she said pointing at the gap between the driver's door of the Infiniti and where the fuel line sat, "something else had to start the fire!" Her eyes found Morgan's once again.

"The fire wasn't a result of the accident," Derek said softly as he placed a hand on Emily's shoulder, "someone lit it on purpose."

Emily had tears in her eyes as Morgan pulled her into a hug.

"Ok, but we kind of already knew that," Hotch stated hating to put a damper on their first real revelation in hours, "it wasn't an accident but what does that tell us about the UnSub that set this all up and more importantly what does it tell us about how to find JJ."

"A lot actually," Garcia said smiling as five surprised expressions turned to her.

"Nothing out of the usual showed up on Megan Kinsley in the last 6 months, but I went back further," Garcia said as they all gathered around her laptop, "8 months ago, Megan joined an online dating service. She got the usual hits, but one hit struck me as unusual. The profile didn't contain a picture, but the guy seemed interested, overly interested, when it came to Megan Kinsley."

"What do you mean Garcia?" Rossi asked clearly curious at where this was all going.

"I mean that this guy, screen name Vonnegut, practically stalked Megan until she finally had to cancel her subscription altogether."

"What do you mean by practically stalked Garcia?" Hotch spoke up.

"Numerous request for communication, bookoo attempts at contacting her through emails and private messages, oh and then there is this," the tech smiled obviously proud of herself for what she had found.

"Vonnegut sent this to Megan, screen name Megpie, four months before she went missing,"

At first the message seemed ordinary for a desperate guy trying to hook up with an attractive girl, but looking deeper the obvious signs of stalking could be seen. But it wasn't the subliminal stalkerish comments that sent of the red flag to Penelope, it was what was written as the last sentence.

"_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom"_

"Shakespeare, the line from Sonnet 116, the same as in the last message JJ recieved!," Reid cried.

"Garcia what can you get from his account?" Hotch inquired feeling for once something had gone their way.

Garcia's expression told him not much, "well, the only contact he made was with Megan, and his account has been inactive since Megan terminated her account four months ago."

"Ok check for credit cards or some method of payment,"

"Already on it boss man," she assured him before disappearing behind her screen again.

"Why keep the account open if Megan had already closed communication?" Morgan questioned.

"Because he would need to use it again if his plans didn't work out," Rossi stated matter of factly.

"So what we do know for sure is that he had four months to stalk Megan and JJ started receiving the messages 6 months ago. That leaves two months of overlap but I think its safe to say that this UnSub targeted JJ much earlier than that." Hotch was running through his train of thought.

It was broken by a squeal from behind the laptop.

"What is it baby girl," Derek asked as he leaned over her shoulder to look at the screen.

"Well, my Greek god of love, I was able to track down a credit card, but unfortunately the card used to open the account was from a guy named Walter Jenkins."

"Why is that unfortunate?" Reid asked confused

"Walter Jenkins is currently in a coma at Georgetown Memorial and has been for the past year."

"Can you trace who had access to Jenkin's accounts?" Hotch questioned.

"Is Captian Kirk the best commander to ever live?" she sounded almost insulted, almost.

Reid smiled, happy he knew the answer to that one.

"of course I can, it will just take some time."

"What do we do until then," Emily could hardly bare to stand still any longer especially with all the information they had just found.

Hotch could sense the urge from Emily to go running out the door to track down this Unsub, but they had to stay focused.

"We need a timeline," he began wiping Morgan's crude automobile drawing off the whiteboard, "follow his actions between Megan and JJ. It will give us a better idea of how and what he was thinking."

"Morgan you and Emily take the messages he sent to Megan."

"Rossi, Reid you have the ones sent to JJ"

They all nodded.

For the first time in 11 days Emily finally felt that the mountain in front of her wasn't quite so impossible.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beam of light began to slowly penetrate her conscious. Feeling began to course through her body once again, bringing mostly pain with it. She fought against opening her eyes. She didn't want to open them to find she was still a prisoner.

The pain from her head and side told her that if she opened them, that is exactly where she would be, still trapped in her own personal version of hell.

JJ lifted her hand to where the pain radiated from the side of her head. She was surprised to find it covered in cloth. The crispness on the outside told her the gash underneath had stopped bleeding, but only recently.

Still keeping her eyes closed tight she moved to sit up. The pain that ripped through her side immediately forced her to to the ground again. _Damn that hurts. _

She tried again and was finally able to manage a half sitting half slouched position using the wall behind her for the majority of her support. Breathing heavily at the labor intensive task, she finally gave in to opening her eyes.

A small gasp escaped her lips as JJ found two grey eyes staring back at her from the corner of her cell.

"I can wrap them if you want," he said meekly motioning to her ribs.

She didn't know how to respond.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he told her as tears filled his eyes, " I never want to hurt you Jennifer."

She winced as she tried to straighten more. He looked like a frightened child, nothing like the monster who had beaten her senseless earlier. _Wait how long have I been out?! _she though looking suddenly to the tiny window.

He answered her unasked question, "Y…you passed..out," he fumbeled with the words, "yesterday , I mean. I tried to clean the cut on your head as best I could… but I didn't know about your ribs, they are pretty bruised," he never met her eyes.

JJ shuddered at the thought of him exploring her body while she was unconscious.

He stood slowly, but didn't make a move towards her. " I…I can bandage them now if you want."

JJ silently weighed her options. Her ribs hurt like hell and she was pretty sure a couple were broken. If she was going to survive this, she told herself she needed to stay as strong as possible, and a couple of broken ribs would definitely get in the way. On the other hand, allowing him to bandage her wound, would mean he would have to be close to her again, close enough for her to feel his hands against her flesh.

She looked up at him from where she still sat leaning against the back wall. She needed to use this situation to her advantage she told herself. He was remorseful for what he had done to her the day before. It had broken him in a way. She would use that and hopefully somehow he would let his guard down further.

"Ok," she said softly, "could you also take the chain off?" She needed to test just how far his guard was down already.

His eyes widened in relief at her words.

"ok," he said jumping up and running through the door and quickly returning with a white bandage.

She allowed him to help her stand wincing not only in pain but from the way his touch caressed against her bruised skin.

When he had finished, JJ motioned to the chain around her ankle, "Please." Her eyes gave him the most trusting look she could muster.

He hesitated. "You won't try to leave me Jennifer?" he voice was childlike again.

She shook her head, not trusting herself to give him a convincing verbal lie.

"Good," he said cupping the side of her face, "because I couldn't bear to lose you."

It took every ounce of strength she had not to flinch away.

"I promise not to hurt you again," he leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek. JJ felt the bile rising in her throat but quickly repressed it.

She nodded and he smiled.

"I will be back to check on you soon my love," he told her turning towards the door, "you should probably get some rest."

JJ watched him leave, hearing him turn the seven locks on the other side of the door behind him.

Finally, left alone, she released the breath she had been holding. She had played her part well. He needed to regain her trust, and she had let him believe he had. Angering him had proven futile and very painful, now it was time to try a new approach.

If she could get him to trust her completely, it could give her the opportunity she needed to escape. Tilting her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes. She had to be patient, her time would come, and when it did she would be ready.

A/N: So what did you think? feel free to write a review or send me a pm and let me know!


End file.
